My mother's death made me re-evaluate my relationships and I began to consider the criteria for allowing someone to be part of my personal life. My mind is happiest when my main focus is on making art, not navigating difficult pointless relationships. Artists are often accused of being selfish or self-centered and I would say those 'accusers' lack an understanding of what it means to create something and dive in head and heart first into a new project. Work has always been my foundation and what facilitates my engagement with humans, so this Spring has been about a thorough Spring-cleaning of my relationships. I require the same support and encouragement I offer others. I've blocked the rude, the permanently depressed and miserable and the catty and jealous from my social media life and cross the street when I see one of these characters coming. I don't question or judge what I require to be serene. Everyone has their limitations and rules of engagement so to speak.
This summer, I chose to eliminate people from my life who are nay sayers or just depressive. It was one of those beautiful epiphanies that strode past like an autumn breeze -- suddenly cold and clear -- the time had come to really grow up as an artist and stop discussing art and writing projects with persons who have no idea what I'm doing, saboteurs who are secretly jealous because they are unable to work on their own original artistic projects and people who aren't interested in being investors or attending an event.
I have liberated myself and those uninspired critics, so we may go our separate ways to let it do what it do. I will continue exploring ways to make art, make life, and enjoy the beauty of the world unencumbered by trying to sell my ideas to people with no interest in ideas and I will not burden anyone with my artist spirit and trust in the universe.
Little Manuscripts and Gigantic Manuscripts
I haven't submitted a gigantic manuscript in a while, which is something I take a break from doing once in a while -- over a year. However, I have been submitting poems and short stories to print magazines and feel a pull toward doing another writing fellowship thingee. I submitted a manuscript to Paper Lantern about six months ago, which is an odd 'bestseller' factory where two women sit with a writer and 'work or rework' plots. I'm game.
I unpublished my two e-books (Latinalogue Pt I and II), which I had published four years ago, in order to make some changes and will be putting those back up in late July.
Are you still writing?
Writing is something I have done everyday since the age of six, so it makes me laugh to hear the question "Are you still writing?"
If I didn't write, I would have absolutely no interest in speaking to anyone. My gateway to communication in human form is the written word. And this is not to say I don't love people and social events because I really do.
Fourth of July was a lot of fun because I spent it with my friend and his boyfriend and a group of New Yorkers from diverse racial, ethnic and work backgrounds. We talked about marketing in the music industry, chemistry, genetics, Puerto Rican politics, and no one had anything to prove. We were peacefully co-existing, and, more than once, I heard someone saying 'I feel blessed.'
DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO LET GO OF PEOPLE WHO LAY WASTE TO YOUR DREAMS?
Yes, I do love myself enough to let go of critics with their agenda and insecurities . . . besides, those people are boring.